This is me.
As you can tell, I am not thin. Not by any stretch of the imagination.
I could say I'm not fat, I am just under-tall.
Well, that could be a couple of inches (feet) of the problem, if I was 7'3" I'd probably look just fine.
5'2" isn't cutting it.
I could say that it is all a metabolism problem.
It's not, it's a chocolate and second helpings problem.
I could blame it all on my children.
I could and would probably get away with it, if my youngest was one.
He's not, he's 13.
Maybe it's all the stress in my life.
I really could get away with that, I'm sure.
Why can't I be one of those who don't eat when stressed?
I feel ripped off on that one.
I have read two ultra fabulous blogs on this very subject in the past two days.
I share them with you, wish I was this grown-up and mature.
I will try to adopt the vision of these two, very wise women.
Read their wisdom HERE and HERE.
I need to rethink how I look at myself.
I need to appreciate myself and be able to poke fun if need be,
in an unapologetic way.
I need to be comfortable in the skin that I have created for myself.
I need to be proud of all I have accomplished
and it has NOTHING to do with my size, or lack of size.
I need to celebrate that I have a wonderful bunch of kids,
I do good things every day for people.
I am compassionate, I love to give service.
I am a good and loyal friend.
I am pretty wonderful.... darn it.
And it has nothing to do with my size.
Now, this isn't to say I shouldn't try a little harder,
eat healthier, just say no to calories
Get my ample end out walking every day...
I'd probably feel better.
But I don't want my life to be defined by my size.
I want to be defined by how I live my life each day.
Happy and content, no matter what the scale says.
At least I have good hair and a cute grandson.
17 comments:
I agree it's like an annoying everpresent albatross always hanging around. I can conquer and accomplish so much so why do I have to define myself by the weight. Though it's visually so obvious it's such a small part of who I am. It's true you do have good hair and clothes and accessories and you look great. We are just hard on ourselves. Now I'd like a piece of cake.
Amen, sista! You are fabulous. You are a rock in the midst of a tempest and I, for one, would never define or measure you by anything so silly as a number on a scale. You are amazing.
This was perfect...and I really needed to read it, Jeni. Thank you.
I define myself by my weight each and every day. I keep thinking to myself things like, "Mike is so sweet to me...but I wonder if in his heart of hearts he wishes I were petite and cute." I convince myself that I am a failure and a bad wife due to my size.
Oh, my, you do have fabulous hair and that grandson is so adorable so, so adorable!!
I'm a lurker coming forward. My story is your story. I lost 65 pounds 5 years ago and have kept it off. I wanted to forget about getting healthy and fit and just enjoy my wonderful life but something in me (not in society) wanted to conquer this one thing.
I can tell you everything is better when you take care of yourself. Now my lifes work is to help others have hope - you can lose weight and keep it off and get on with your fabulous life. I'd love to help you and anyone who is interested (not selling anything by the way).
You are amazing!
When are you going to come visit me, I mean Rose...
You ARE fabulous!! I know exactly how you feel! I think you are a pretty amazing person and I admire you so much. It is so hard to not define ourselves by our weight. But I am learning as I go to not to.
Your hair is totally fantastic and your grandson is absolutely the cutest! Love ya!
i don't personally know you but you seem like a fabulous person and you are gorgeous to boot! you have a pretty cute grandson too :)
Wow, this is one of the best posts I have read. Straight to the point and honest. Being that I am one of the "thin" ones. I spent a good 20 years of my life obsessed with it. Yes, I enjoy the way I feel and actually enjoy exercising, but I truly enjoy eating. And more importantly I enjoy life. I had a major "A HA" moment at a truly terrible time. My twins were 4 month old babies, my dad suffered a major heart attack. As I sat in his hospital room with him, and we were slowly coming to the realization that we would have to let go of his life support system and say goodbye. I could truly feel the separation of his spirit and body and I finally understood that our bodies are not "who we are!!!" They hold our spirits, but they are not us. I decided then and there to let go of my war with my body. I had literally been at war for 20 years, since I hit puberty. It was not an overnight success story, but slowly and surely I came to understand that what I am on the outside is not my identity. What I do for a living, what my title in life is, who I am married to, where I live, what I look like, none of it is me. What I am truly am inside is what I give back to the world around me. What I feel inside and outwardly reflect comes back to me. That is who I am. I love the person you are. You are my inspiration for being rock solid in trials. You are my inspiration for being a truly good friend. I could think of one million good words to describe you, beautiful is at the top of the list. Overweight, doesn't even make the list because that is not you. That is just the body that holds you. I have cellulite and spider veins on my legs! It drives me crazy. I also have really thin crummy hair and nails, which I dislike as well. We all have things we physically do not care for, but they are not us. Not truly who we are inside. Giver yourself a gigantic pat on the back. I bet many of your readers don't even know from whence you came. That in itself speaks volumes about who you are and what you overcame and what beautiful things you have created with your life. Have a beautiful and wonderful day. Love you!
PS I do have a teensy bit of hair envy when you walk into Sacrament. In the next life, I am counting on getting good hair!
1st- I am so glad you're back, I missed you:)
2nd- I want to know who wrote the book of The Perfect Size You SHOULD be, and then I will coat them with honey and tie them to an ant hill.
3rd- I wrote about this on 2/17/09, and I meant it, we need to be our best selves, not aspire to be someone else's ideal.
4th- That is one cute baby! And that is reason enough for me to be healthier, but a Barbie.
and here comes ms. skin and bones with her opinion. you're absolutely right. weight shouldn't matter for any reason other than health.
but no one listens to the skinny girl.
You are beautiful & very accomplished! I applaud you & your doings! Mostly, you are loved! I really love the last photo of you & your grandson, blow it up for a large portrait on your wall!
I agree with the cute grandson comments!
Just so you know...I happen to think you are beautiful. Truly.
I forgot to mention that before because I was gushing over the adorable Carter.
I adore you. You are a beautiful, wise woman. You forgot to mention that you have great style too. That little Carter is the cutest accessory ever.
I LOVE YOU!
This was a wonderful post! When I first started reading it I thought - "NO! We love her for who she is and how fabulous she is, not for her pant size!" Then I finished reading your blog. You are one of my favorite bloggers and I admire you so very much.
And you do have great hair and a darling grandson!
Wow! Loved this post. I am trying to come to grips with the body that I have been blessed with. I HATE being labeled "clinically OBESE" and I want to punch my doctors in the nose every time they start harping on me about my weight. But for once in my life I am starting to feel comfortable in my own skin.
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