Every year he begs me to try out for the advanced teams, but being the lazy, slacker mother that I am, I don't let him and he plays on a house team. I make it sound good by using this logic: "Scotty...what would you rather do? You can go on Comp and play half the time and just be one of the players...OR you can play house, play every minute and be the BEST one on the team!!" It worked beautifully; until this year when the Comp coaches and Trainers came to his games to recruit him. Dang it. Dang it. Dang it. Then they started inviting him to THEIR practices, DANG IT.
It was freezing! What was that woman doing in a skirt and leggings? I know, I live in Cali, I don't really KNOW freezing. It's relative .
So I buckled under peer pressure, (who says it only teenagers who have pressure)? I was totally outnumbered, parents of kids on the comp team came to my office..."are we going to see Scotty at tryouts?" Daily e-mails..."just want to remind you about tryouts!". Messages on the cell phone, "Can't wait to see Scotty Sunday!!" Geez Louise folks; he's not Pele'!
We went. It rained and rained and rained. They had tryouts anyway. I think it was God teaching me a lesson. The wind was blowing with hurricane force, my umbrella kept turning inside out. My ears hurt, my hands were frozen. Long gone are those childhood days when if you were having fun the elements didn't matter. I was having fun watching him but I was cold. So, being the complete wussy-butt that I am I went to my car, pulled it around to kind of watch the kids playing (in a distance, far, far away). I lasted 30 of the 90 minute tryouts.
My drowned Soccer Rat. It was so cold and wet I couldn't get out of the car to take a proper picture. I know, LAZY.
Here's Scotty on his death-floor, hacking and moaning. That was the fastest case of pnuemonia EVER to develop.
BUT, I do have a question. I am curious about what other families have done about Sunday sports, performing arts, etc....? The coaches know that I am LDS and know that church is a must and they seem willing to work with us. What has your family done? What are your thoughts?
(If you haven't been through this, but have an opinion, bring it on, just keep it nice. I'm tenderhearted).
27 comments:
The Rain was Heavenly Father's tears because it was Sunday!! (J/K) I can't wait to hear the results of the try outs. Scotty you are a soccer stud. Miss you guys!
I would never judge anyone on their decision to play on Sunday.
It is a tough decision. My son, Ike, is a good athlete and so far (he is 12) we have been able to dodge the decision. He has just been invited to play on a Gold Crown basketball team that is very competitive and nearly half the games are Sunday. I think we will let him play but only on Sunday if they make the playoffs.
I know, I know.
But there is that whole duty to the team routine too. If you join the team you have to give them your best. My husband says if the athlete is good enough the team will let him/her on the team even if they don't play on Sundays.
Interesting - my other son is a competitive pianist and I have no problem letting him play recitals and concerts on sunday. Is that a double standard?
Good question... I have no experience in this yet, but most of the Japanese elders and sisters in my mission did sports and school clubs on Sunday. They turned out ok:)
To the rest of the world, Sunday is just another day, mostly a play day. So I don't think you are a terrible Mo. I don't see any harm in talking to his coach about the importance of church on Sunday. Maybe he will work with you, maybe he won't. Worth a try though.
You are an awesome Mom though!!
hmm. this is a tough one. so far, we've said no. but my oldest is ten, so there haven't been any major events thus far.
my inclination is that i will continue to say no. i don't think it's a good choice, and i think it opens doors to other potentially poor choices. i don't know jeni. i'm no saint, so i don't say any of this with a condescending feeling. and maybe once we get in the situation i will see differently. but i believe it will continue to be a "no" in our home.
i'll call you in a few years when i'm agonizing over the choice and you can tell me what to do. fair enough?
We have been faced with it, and had to beg three baseball coaches to take my son on without Sundays before one said yes. It was hard for him, but has absolutely been a blessing. We found out later that the coach knows a bunch of people in our stake and asked them if we were Mormon because of the Sunday thing.
Our other experience with it was baseball in San Diego. Our coach (again!) fully supported our decision. He actually went the extra mile though and would call up and ask to take my son with him when he and his son were going to park to practice, just because he wanted him to get the extra time in on the field.
It's worked for us, and is always a nice way to get out of annoying school friend birthday parties when they're on Sundays. I say stick to your guns, sister.
Funny, I am somewhat of an expert on the subject, especially concernng EDYSL. I've had 3 of my kids play on their competitive teams. I'll have to chat with you sometime about it. My comments would be more of an essay...In a nutshell, we've been very upfront with coaches that Sunday play (even Sunday try-outs) is not an option for us. They know they will only see us on the Saturday try-outs. We've always been treated with respect. Our kids know that they have to give 110% all other times to make up for missing. This has worked for OUR family. I think because all 4 of our kids do athletics, year-round, that we felt like we had to draw the line, or else face making the decision constantly throughout the year with our different children. Hope that helps. Call if you want to talk (Celia knows where to find me).
Hi ~ I've been reading your blog for a while now and have never actually "introduced" myself.
I am not LDS, but I am a former select volleyball coach and I just thought I'd throw in my .02. I was in highschool with a fellow player that is LDS and she never did select because all of the tournaments were on Sunday. She missed out on several college scholarships because while she had the talent, she didn't have the additional experience they were looking for.
From a coach's perspective, I can tell you that I was always willing to work with all of my players as far as church obligations went (in every religion). However, I have to be honest. While I would never count a church absence against a player ~ they do fall behind and therefore their playing time, team standing etc...is affected. It wasn't meant as a punishment, but we would cover new things at every practice and if they didn't get the new information, they fell behind.
I'm not trying to be disrepsectful of your religious obligations, however I feel that sports are a great addition to childhood. They teach responsibility, integrity, sportsmanship and if kids take sports seriously enough they tend to stay out of trouble.
I realize you are in a difficult situation and I'm certain you will make the best decision you can for your family ~ like I said, I just wanted to give you some perspective from the coach's side of things. Good Luck with your decision. ~Jessica
Wow. You have some really great input so far. I especially liked Jessica's perspective.
Since I don't have any sporty kids, Sunday play has never been an issue for us. It is easy for me to say No Way Sunday, but then again, I haven't ever been faced with the choice. So far in my life when I have said No Way it always comes back to bite me in the butt.
I'm pretty sure Scotty isn't bound for hell whatever you decide to do.
Do those pajamas have FEET? Ha!Ha!Ha!
Well so far I haven't had to deal too much with this problem. And I am like Celia whenever I say..."I would never do that..." I usually end up eating my words. I think it's something you have decide based on your kid, his abilities and if you think how it's going to effect him. People who judge you for it, should just realize they only are responsible for themselves and not your family. I am a firm believer that people need to do what works for them and their family. I won't judge you! I remember that he is quite the soccer stud, glad to see him still loving it.
i love scotty!!
Yuck. My little brother sounds like a lot like Scotty and he played on a bunch of club teams. My parents very rarely allowed him to play on Sunday like when there was a weekend tournament and his team made it to finals. I know they struggled with this a lot; especially because there was another Mormon kid on the team whose parents let their kid play willy-nilly. Good luck with that. I think the most important factor in this process is to make sure Scotty is part of the decision making. How does HE feel?
I just want to know if those pj's are one-piecers?
we go through this too with our hailey and soccer...we finally let her play club this year with the understanding that she couldn't play regular sunday play---if it is a big tournament or play-offs we let her...that's our compromise. it's a toughy.
I have 3 kids who have all played sports and we have always chosen to miss Sunday games. They have missed tournament and play off games. Not a popular decision but one we have never regretted.
I think you should do whats best for your family. For our family, its no sports during church 9-12. If something comes up after church then we let them participate. THis works for us. I've probably missed out the most (Women's softball Sunday mornings)and its hard but I know we've been blessed for it!!! Keep us posted!
Whoa! Scotty is heavily sought after!! It is unreal how so many people did so much to recruit him! He must have some MAJOR talent! (Well, I can tell from previous posts that he definitely has talent)
I haven't had to deal with the Sunday issue yet. I am sure my day is coming.
AJ was recruited for the Blast Baseball teams but they play a lot of games on Sunday and the coaches were okay with it but we decided it wasn't fair to take a place on the roster with a part-time player. As a coach too, I know that when kids miss it effects how you coach because you are never sure or confident the kid is up on all the plays and able to execute them at game speed. That being said, we have left many of the decisions to the kids and they usually surprise you with the right choice (which is often harder on Mom and Dad...especially Dad's who are reliving their own sporting experiences thru their sons)...
My problem is as a coach...how do I miss a Sunday game? The other coaches on our team pick me up and after 14 years they kind of know...
Yucky! This is a hott topic in our family. I'll never say never, cause my kids aren't even close to something like that! Scotty seems old enough to make his own decisions. I agree with the few others that suggested it. He's 8. He knows what he SHOULD do. Or what he SHOULD do for him. So let him choose.
Heres my thing... you probably won't go inactive by missing a few Sundays. But if your really THAT good (scholarship good), there are ways to stay conditioned year round and play without the Sundays thing, and STILL recieve a scholarship. And beside doing it to recieve a scholarship, when you really look at the BIG PICTURE, why are you doing it? So good luck with that!! What really stinks, is that we know the right answer to your questions, but knowing the right thing and doing the right thing is whats hard. I am known to let out some swear words, and I have seen some rated R movies... But I KNEW I shouldn't have. And I always feel guilty when I do.
Wow I can't wait to have older children!!!! My best advice is to pray about it! Love you Jeni!
Loved both perspectives from everyone here.
I just always think of the little Filipino lady (in any random Ensign story) whose biggest business day was on Sunday, but who joined the church and decided to not open on Sunday...or whatever. Or the millions of Friend stories where kids chose not to participate and were blessed. How can I read those stories to my kids, feel the Spirit and then tell them that THEY are the exception?
We haven't had to deal with this. It's a hard choice. I LOVE the idea of letting Scotty decide. And everyone knows you are making your best decisions. Thanks for opening this up to discussion!
What a great athlete! This is a tough issue and I hope nobody would judge any family on it.
When we were at BYU, our home teacher was on the football team. He was really good and got drafted by the NFL. But he had always promised his mom that he wouldn't play on Sundays, so he turned down the deal to teach high school!
On the other hand, Andy Reid is the most famous Mormon in Philly, a great guy and he coaches Sundays.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it IS a personal decision. Good luck. Keep us posted...
This is Scotty....yeah....they are one piece with feet and I love them, they are warm and comfy!
I LOVE the pj's, and so would my boys!!!
Funny you bring this up. We had a like discussion early this week about a summer league that would change up our Sundays.
While I don't have any solid "advice" I can tell you that what we decided to do was allow him to play because a.) it's a short season and b.)he's only eligible to play in this league for one more year.
That being said, he has to pick one day per week that he has to give of himself and his time in a different way than he usually would.
Either way, I'm with Robin, no judging.
This is tough, but I'm on the 'no exceptions' for Sundays camp. I thought Jessica Romney said it best. It's hard, because in YW, I lose girls all the time to sports on Wed nights and even that is a problem. You never know when you are going to have a spiritual experience and if you aren't in the right place at the right time, you can miss it. My kids' testimonies and commitment to the gospel comes before scholarships and fun on the field.
That said, I totally understand the difficulties of this issue and would never judge anyone for their decision. We are all doing our best and are responsible for our own choices.
I just wanted to be clear ~ I didn't say my friend missed out on scholarships because of conditioning. It was because of lack of competitive experience. Something you can't get by going out running on your own.
Also, to the poster that said you never know when you may have a spiritual experience ~ I whole heartedly agree. However, as far as I'm concerned there is no hard & fast rule that states spiritual experience only happens on Sundays, in church. I coached for many many many years and our tournaments were on Sundays. My uncle used to give me all kinds of grief because "God only asks for one day". That's true and I honestly felt as if it were my calling to mentor and coach those girls. I felt I was doing His work on the volleyball court and working with those girls more so than if I went into a big elaborate building and said a few prayers.
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