Fall might be in the air here a little bit. We don't have the gorgeous fall colors en masse like those of you in cooler climates, but the leaves on my trees are turning red and orange nonetheless. This is my favorite time of year. I love the changing colors of the earth. I love changing my wardrobe to long pants and sweaters and scarves. I love changing my menus from grilled and cool to soups and baked goods packed with cinnamon. I love changing the decor of my house not once but three times between now and January!! I love the smell of smoke in the air and nippy mornings and houses with their porches piled with pumpkins. Others can say this much more eloquently than I, but I do love the changes that autumn brings.
I am trying to make changes in my own life, and frankly, the result isn't turning out as beautifully as I had dreamed of. First of all, I am still not tucking my hair. I miss it. It is a bummer to set aside a 35 year old nervous habit. But I do have a really cute cut and it won't tuck, so out of default, I can't tuck. Hair change sucks for me.
It's now been 10 days since I had a 32 ounce, lots of ice, Diet Pepsi from QuikStop. Every morning as I leave Seminary and drive past, I fight with my car's gravitational pull towards the store. I look at it longingly. The other day the owner called me at work: "Hey Jeni, this is Bob B at QuikStop, I was just calling to check on you, you haven't been in all week". That's pretty sad when they call YOU. Jeff calls him my "dealer". That puts it into perspective. Yes, I had headaches. Yes, I was grumpy. Yes, I crave it. Yes, Jessica and Linsey, well, maybe yes, the jury is still out. I hate this change and I am getting tired of water. Keep encouraging.
BUT the biggest change? Turns out that my hormones are those of a 22 year old. Here I am, 49 years old and am in no way close to menopause. I am bummed by this. In fact, my insides look great! You couldn't tell I had had 5 children by the way I look inside. There goes my excuse for a chubby tummy, I was hoping for a stretched out uterus. On the bright side, there is something there that requires medical attention, so I am going to have a procedure done in a couple of weeks that will make sure that my Auntie Flo never visits again. I do not like this relative, she never drops in when it is convenient, and she is always such a pain! BUT, to prepare for this procedure I need to be prepared. So I am taking shots that are putting me into a chemically induced menopause. This makes me a little less perky than usual and I think I had a hot flash yesterday!
There are just too many changes for me right now. Which change should I change back? (only to take the pressure off....)
18 comments:
Oh my! You are still my hero! I hope your procedure goes well!
I am amazed by your will power! Seriously. I try and give up DP everyonce in a while and I'll do OK for a few weeks but then I always go back. I'm working on it, though. And in the mean time drinking gallons of fresca. :)
I hope the surgery goes well. I love you!
I am 35, I had a hysterectomy 2 years ago and I love it! I was young enough that they left my ovaries, so I don't have to take hormones, and I love not having Aunt Flo come to visit...ever again! It's wonderful. My mom had one 6 years ago and her ovaries were taken out, but she uses the patch and she is extremely happy too. She was 53 and showing no signs of entering menopause either. She is jealous that I got mine 20 years earlier than she did! LOL
Change can really be the pits can't it?!?!?! Blah.
Hang in there and know that you are loved.
P.S. Your insides are not the only beautiful part of you!!!!
What in the? NO. FAIR. My insides match a 10,000 year old woman. NO. FAIR.
I'm still totally imressed with the ditching Diet Pepsi thing. Totally impressed. You're doing so good!!
Hope all goes well...atleast you're not pregnant. Talk about change!
Change makes me cry...you are doing great!
I think your wrote your feelings about this time of year VERY eloquently :)
Great job to you for sticking to your guns and ignoring the gravitational pull toward the store, each day. Your will power is inspirational!
I hope your procedure goes okay. We love you ♥
Hang in there! You are doing great! Don't ever punish yourself if you have any kind of slip up, just keep trying! Change is the hardest thing ever, except when mother nature changes the seasons! I loved your expose' on autumn, I feel very similar! You are quite the example for all of us out here!
Wait, I thought we got to choose something that you could stop changing. I choose chocolate. It's not a good time of year.
I'll tell my DP hi for you.
Hi Jeni,
Change is good! Right?! I especially loved getting rid of Aunt Flo. That was the best change of all. I was apprehensive but all is well and I don't have to worry about all of her extra visits each month. I was pretty sick of her! lol!
I hope everything goes well for you and keep up the great work with changing the DP thing.
Have a great week this week!
Love, Kim
i laughed when you said you love the smell of smoke in the air. all i could picture was you hanging out at the QuikStop with a soda in one hand a cigarette in the other.
if things get bad enough that it comes to that, you will want to stand around back, because apparently everyone knows and watches you.
I enjoyed reading this. I gave up sugar (90% of the time) but I am still loving my DP (dr. pepper in my case).
Anyways - this was nice to read. You write well.
This may not be good for you to hear but my mom is 58 and has yet to go through menopause. She had the same procedure that you are probably getting and she is that super minority for which it doesn't work. Isn't that pathetic?
Okay, that was a terrible thing to write to you. I'm sorry. Of course that will NOT happen to you. Yours will go beautifully and although you can't have a diet pepsi, just think you don't have to have a period for another 10 years like my mom.
Okay, does that spin help?
I had a surgical menopause. I took hormones. Menopause made me crazy...well crazier. Good luck. There is a great book called Mind, Mood and Menopause. E-mail me if you need support. I went through menopause while two of my kids went through puberty. It wasn't pretty.
I was SERIOUSLY thinking you were going to announce a pregnancy. That would be a colossal change!
Good luck with all the changes.
Great post! I almost gave up Diet Coke, but then thought, "WhY?" I've yet to come up with a good enough answer.
You are awesome despite what Bob B., the doctor, and anyone else may tell you!! Good job on the diet pepsi withdrawl. A good excuse not to go back on it is to remember you don't want to go through withdrawls again. Plus maybe we can get you a 1 year coin like they give to sober former drunks. How cool would that be? Probably reading this long comment makes you want a pepsi right now. Ok I will stop.
You can do it girl! I've been "sober" from Diet Coke with Vanilla from Sonic for 1 month and 2 days (who's counting). I wish I would have been so thoughtful as to write a poem to it before I quit. Having had at least 1 rt. 44 everyday for over 13yrs was a hard habit to break but I'm no longer in bondage so keep it up.
You'll be glad you did. Good luck with the procedure.
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