These are fighting words....

A friend sent this to me and I thought it was hysterical. Sad thing is that I could have written it.
(and I did if it's in italics)

Nine phrases women use: (that the men in their lives would do well to understand...)

1). "Fine": This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. (I used this very word tonight........................)

2). "Five Minutes": If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3). "Nothing": This is calm before the storm. This means something , and you should be on your toes. (Arguments that start with 'nothing' usually end in 'fine').

4). "Go ahead": This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it!
(or do it and see what happens, a #6 perhaps...)

5). "Loud Sigh....": This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6). "That's okay": This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man.
'That's okay' mean she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7). "Thanks": A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.
(I want to add a clause here - unless she say's 'Thanks a lot - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say you're welcome, that will bring on a "whatever"...)

8). "Whatever...": Is a woman's way of saying 'F--- YOU!' (I've used this a time or two...)

9). "Don't worry about it, I got it": Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has asked a man to do several times , but is now just going to do it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.


I offer this as a public service to your husbands to keep peace in your homes. No need to thank me.