The Victim: 
Age: 19 1/2 years old
Hair: Blonde
Eyes: Brown Height: 5'5"
Weight: Just Perfect
Residence: Hails from the great state of California, now attending college in Idaho.
Hobbies: Snowboarding, Kids, Laughing, hanging out with blondes from Texas
Major: Fun with a minor in Elementary Special Ed.
The Perpetrator: 
Age: 22
Hair: Blonde with a new $18 haircut to impress the jury
Eyes: Blue
Height: 5'10"
Weight: Not enough
Teeth: Intact and brushed
Fingernails: Clean
Residence: Hails from the OTHER side of the Rockies, a place called Texas
Currently residing in Idaho
Previous Profession: Missionary to Brazil
Hobbies: Snowboarding, Basketball, Stressing over the OC, and hanging out with blondes.
Major: Business with no idea what he wants to do with it except Make Money.
The Jury:
Foreman: 50 year old Retired Dentist/Science Teacher
48 year old High School Discipline Secretary
14 year old Male, Leadership student
11 year old Male, Soccer Star
Evidence:
1. It was disclosed that Perpetrator is a good sport as evidenced by:
playing a lot of family games namely "Whoonu", a notorious relationship tester. While playing game the following facts were noted:
a. likes motorcycles (strike from Assistant Foreman)
b. likes yardsales (Ditto on above)
c. likes basketball (points from younger jurors)
d. doesn't like pickles, baseball hats, or getting up early (no points or strikes awarded)
e. doesn't like cuddling (HUGE points from Jury Foreman, strikes from Victim, but who cares what she thinks?)
f. likes to Doodle (Ditto on above)
dyeing Easter eggs with roommates and victims' family
Then hunting for Easter eggs.....
And loving his Easter Basket.
3. Perpetrator also showed that he is not afraid of the Victim when:
He laughed when this baby named Maddy threw up all over the victim.
4. He was not laughing, however, when he got the flu and didn't quite make it home to do his own version of the Maddy trick.
Pictures of this event quashed as evidence for the victims sake. Okay, there was no camera available, but even if there had been...we, the jury, would have spared you.
5. Perpetrator is extremely kind and patient as evidenced by:
Teaching the two youngest jury members to snowboard. One of whom had a major meltdown and was very resistant to learning to snowboard. Remember from a previous post who hates snow. Perpetrator was full of good humor and patience and stayed on the bunny hills all afternoon. He also showed good sense in being horrified when he made it on the ski lift and his student did not.
6. Showed great courage when he laughed at Jury Foreman's rousing rendition of "Afternoon Delight" and encouraged him to sing at that night's Single's Ward Talent Show.
Jury Foreman showed his intelligence and good sense by NOT doing so.
7. Showed his sense of humor by laughing at youngest jury member who wore fuzzy pink/yellow/blue striped socks on Easter because he couldn't find his church socks. Nice.
8. Showed admirable abhorrance to weapons when youngest jury member tried to shoot him with his "armpit machine gun". He begged for mercy.
9. Showed work ethic by being top producer at his company. Did he mention that he is the weekend manager? I think so.
10. Showed his thriftiness when he bought 18 packages of Cadbury Eggs, (the victims favorite) for the low, low price of $3.82. Hope she doesn't eat all those herself.
11. Points of Concern:
a. wearing very stinky slippers and blaming them on others.
b. was that really the flu or a faux flu?
c. Driggs, $75 and a studio apartment?
d. doesn't eat much, (maybe that's good, he would be cheap to feed...)
e. Texas is a LONG way away...
After an intensive five day trial and major jury deliberations, the verdict is in!
NOT GUILTY...it seems to this jury that he didn't steal anything. The cute co-ed GAVE him her heart freely, and we, the Jury, totally understand why!! He's a keeper and we hope we get to keep him (if he'll have our wacky family!!) Three thumbs up are shown here, but the actual tally was five.
Acquitted and free to carry on courtship of the lovely Lauren.
Now we'll have to continue those dowry discussions Skyler.
13 comments:
I loved this post! It was so clever! You are too funny! I think my husband and I are going to be a crazy strict jury for anyone who dates our girls when they are of dating age...which I think may be as early as 25...but mostly likely 30! ;)
They really do make a cute couple! She looks happy! Let us know when the wedding is.
Oh and Texas isn't so bad. My sister married a guy from Texas and then stole her away and they lived down there for like 8 years, but they eventually moved back to Utah. Then I moved away...but that is another story. But Texas is a fun state to visit!
this is funny. Skyler is gonna laugh when i show it to him!!! i just have a few comments. he DOES like to cuddle. just liked to deny it in front of the family (we weren't close enough for that yet)
i am glad ya'll liked him, he is a keeper.
August Wedding! August Wedding! Yea for my Lauren--I can't wait to meet Skylar--very cute post!
August Wedding? Nothing wrong with May or June at the latest, I say!!!!
Jeni, that was soooo fun to read. And Lauren that first pic (not to mention ALL of them are so beautiful of you. You have the most uplifting smile!!!
I remember thinking I met THE guy when I was 19. The jury (my brother and sister) quickly turned him down. I'm grateful they didn't like him and told me... but honestly, when I met my own husband at 22, I got engaged before anyone in my family had met him. I didn't want to take any chances.
My poor parents. Luckily they like Dan, or so they say.
Texas. hmmmm. Does he have a large state flag hanging in his room, because that would be a deal breaker for me.
I can't wait to meet him! He has to pass the Hazen Jury as well. We are not giving up Lauren to just anybody!
This was a fantastic, clever and fun post! I love how he got a haircut to impress the jury!
I see grandsons with strong jawlines and granddaughters with gorgeous eyes and hair.
You are seriously a fun blogger to read, girlie!
great idea with the blog- coming from a BORN AND RAISED texan, it sounds as if you hit the jackpot!
as far as my addition goes, it has totally happend! thanks for my comment.
You are SO sweet and kind to have left me such a nice comment. THANK YOU! Also, I put more information up about the "Swap" I'm hosting. Please join- I would love it, I think it will be fun! Anyway- I loved this post and your family is darling. Thanks again for the sweet comment, it made my day!
Sounds like he's a lucky guy if he makes it into your family! Do I hear wedding bells???
Such a fun post!!!
Cute and clever! I married a Texas boy myself...but have never lived there.
Very clever post. He'd have to have many stellar qualities to get the go-ahead for courting a 19 year old!!! The thought terrifies me - it's not too many years away for my family!
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