Monday, March 31, 2008

A defining moment of Motherhood.

Today was the day I have dreaded for a while, probably the last 19 years at least.

"Hello to you, is this Jeni? This is Dr. Brand from Madison Memorial Hospital in Rexburg. I have your daughter here and she seems to have suffered a significant seizure."

My heart stopped for a moment and the panic I felt was off the chart. I hate epilepsy. I really hate it. It is like a really sneaky thief that just shows up from nowhere and robs you of peace of mind and moments of your time.

Lauren started having seizures in second grade. Hers are Partial/Complex seizures. She will be standing and talking and the next nano-second be on the floor. They are terrifying. They robbed her of swim team, they robbed her of certain friends and sleep overs, they robbed her of her entire Junior year of High school when she had one after another, missing 37 days of school in one semester. We thought she was doing well and now, BAM! "They're baaaaacccckkkk!"

The emotions I felt were typical, "you are there, I am here, you need me, I need to go, I don't care if a ticket is $480, she needs me to make things better, to 'handle' it. I NEED TO BE THERE WITH HER!!"

But guess what? She didn't need ME, she called HIM before she called me! Lauren very neatly untied my apron strings a little, and I didn't have a choice. The Dr. tried to take her phone and she sneaked a call to Skyler. Not ME, HIM. I guess the days of momma solving everything, making everything better are over. It was truly an "ah-ha" moment for me. As I told my friend MO about it, and said that is was a defining moment for us, and she gently, in her MO way, emailed me that
"it is a defining moment for Lauren and Skyler". I don't know if I'm grown up enough for this.

Later I talked to Skyler and he very sweetly said, "Don't worry, I'll take care of her." And you know, I didn't worry at all after that. She is going back on meds, having a EEG this week, had a bunch of tests run and will be getting to know a new neurologist. But she's going to be fine, Skyler's going to take care of her.
This picture was taken tonight, she looks pretty good for crying all day!

On another note, if I can take a moment to toot the horn for the Medic Alert Foundation.
Lolo has worn a bracelet from this organization since 4th grade. All her medical information is on file at their headquarters including medical and medicine information. Today when she fell, (luckily, coincidentally, she was already at the hospital for being short of breath so she seized right in front of the Dr.) The nurse immediately saw the bracelet and looked at it and they knew what to do. My Dad was a diabetic and wore one, it saved his life when he passed out in the WalMart parking lot, someone found him in his truck and when the ambulance came, they had a clue what to do. A co-worker of mine has one for her autisitic son, Thomas. When he got lost once, the people who found him looked at it and realized he was special and non-verbal. You can find out more about this life saving organization here.

One more thing...I know that blogging is true. That is my testimony today. When all this was happening I remembered sweet Lisa Marie and called her. She went over to Lauren's, took them Jamba Juice and gave her a mother's hug. I can not thank you enough my sweet new friend. It is such a comfort to know that a little blogging, a lunch, some chatting and I and my family have such a wonderful friend to help us when in need. Thank you for your kindness and offered generosity to my girl. I love you.

Now, she will be in Kansas City for a few days in May....anyone live close?

Thursday, March 27, 2008

The Jury is back...and the Verdict is in!

Alleged Crime: Grand Theft, A cute college Co-ed who has had her heart stolen by a Texan.
The Victim:
Age: 19 1/2 years old
Hair: Blonde
Eyes: Brown Height: 5'5"
Weight: Just Perfect
Residence: Hails from the great state of California, now attending college in Idaho.
Hobbies: Snowboarding, Kids, Laughing, hanging out with blondes from Texas
Major: Fun with a minor in Elementary Special Ed.

The Perpetrator:
Age: 22
Hair: Blonde with a new $18 haircut to impress the jury
Eyes: Blue
Height: 5'10"
Weight: Not enough
Teeth: Intact and brushed
Fingernails: Clean
Residence: Hails from the OTHER side of the Rockies, a place called Texas
Currently residing in Idaho
Previous Profession: Missionary to Brazil
Hobbies: Snowboarding, Basketball, Stressing over the OC, and hanging out with blondes.
Major: Business with no idea what he wants to do with it except Make Money.

The Jury:

Foreman: 50 year old Retired Dentist/Science Teacher
48 year old High School Discipline Secretary
14 year old Male, Leadership student
11 year old Male, Soccer Star
1. It was disclosed that Perpetrator is a good sport as evidenced by:
playing a lot of family games namely "Whoonu", a notorious relationship tester. While playing game the following facts were noted:
a. likes motorcycles (strike from Assistant Foreman)
b. likes yardsales (Ditto on above)
c. likes basketball (points from younger jurors)
d. doesn't like pickles, baseball hats, or getting up early (no points or strikes awarded)
e. doesn't like cuddling (HUGE points from Jury Foreman, strikes from Victim, but who cares what she thinks?)
f. likes to Doodle (Ditto on above)

2. Perpetrator showed he was also a gamer by:
dyeing Easter eggs with roommates and victims' family
Then hunting for Easter eggs.....
And loving his Easter Basket.

3. Perpetrator also showed that he is not afraid of the Victim when:
He laughed when this baby named Maddy threw up all over the victim.

4. He was not laughing, however, when he got the flu and didn't quite make it home to do his own version of the Maddy trick.
Pictures of this event quashed as evidence for the victims sake. Okay, there was no camera available, but even if there had been...we, the jury, would have spared you.

5. Perpetrator is extremely kind and patient as evidenced by:
Teaching the two youngest jury members to snowboard. One of whom had a major meltdown and was very resistant to learning to snowboard. Remember from a previous post who hates snow. Perpetrator was full of good humor and patience and stayed on the bunny hills all afternoon. He also showed good sense in being horrified when he made it on the ski lift and his student did not.

6. Showed great courage when he laughed at Jury Foreman's rousing rendition of "Afternoon Delight" and encouraged him to sing at that night's Single's Ward Talent Show.
Jury Foreman showed his intelligence and good sense by NOT doing so.

7. Showed his sense of humor by laughing at youngest jury member who wore fuzzy pink/yellow/blue striped socks on Easter because he couldn't find his church socks. Nice.

8. Showed admirable abhorrance to weapons when youngest jury member tried to shoot him with his "armpit machine gun". He begged for mercy.

9. Showed work ethic by being top producer at his company. Did he mention that he is the weekend manager? I think so.
10. Showed his thriftiness when he bought 18 packages of Cadbury Eggs, (the victims favorite) for the low, low price of $3.82. Hope she doesn't eat all those herself.

11. Points of Concern:
a. wearing very stinky slippers and blaming them on others.
b. was that really the flu or a faux flu?
c. Driggs, $75 and a studio apartment?
d. doesn't eat much, (maybe that's good, he would be cheap to feed...)
e. Texas is a LONG way away...

After an intensive five day trial and major jury deliberations, the verdict is in!

NOT seems to this jury that he didn't steal anything. The cute co-ed GAVE him her heart freely, and we, the Jury, totally understand why!! He's a keeper and we hope we get to keep him (if he'll have our wacky family!!) Three thumbs up are shown here, but the actual tally was five.
Acquitted and free to carry on courtship of the lovely Lauren.

Now we'll have to continue those dowry discussions Skyler.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The Highlight of my trip.

Meeting Lisa Marie!!!!

Not really, it wasn't THE highlight, but it sure was fun. What a doll, I love her and want to be a surrogate Grandma to her energetic, funny, charming kids. Can I, Can I?
Lisa-Marie is as genuine person as I have ever met and her kids are beyond cute, way beyond! Even with the huge age gap (I could be her mother) it's fun to visit and see life isn't much different. I am so happy we made the time to meet, what a great friendship has started.
Thank you Sirri (the peanut), Conner, (the handsome one) and baby Meg, for showing me such a great time. I can't wait for the BBQ in July!
(we all think you should pour money into the has such cool potential! I'll come and help. Really.)

There will be a post soon, about the REAL highlight of the watching!

Monday, March 17, 2008

Happy 14th Birthday Jeff!

Today (March 18th) is Jeffrey's 14th birthday. I can hardly believe it and can't figure out where the time went and just when did he get taller than me? Let me tell you a little bit about my boy!

Jeff's birthday was supposed to be April 29th, but he couldn't wait that long to see the world.
I went in for my regular appointment and was shocked to learn I was 5cm dilated and hadn't had one labor pain! I didn't feel great, but I didn't have any real pains. At baby #4 and dilated to 5, the Dr. wasn't taking any chances. He told me to go home, get my stuff together and come to the hospital. I went home called Byron and our good friends, Tom & Vicki and made arrangements. The guys gave me a blessing and off we went. I got hooked up to a pit-drip and waited and waited and waited. After 27 hours and no baby yet, they decided to break my water. So we waited for a room, got in the room, broke my water and out came Jeff with the water, they barely caught him!! The nurses said we should call him Noah because there was so much water!
One really interesting thing did happen, after the placenta was delivered the Dr. told us it was really proteinous (Huh?) and was perfect for the burn unit (huh?). He asked if we would donate it as an organ. (Hmmm....) so at three minutes old, Jeff was an organ donor! Jeff came into the world totally bruised up, he had a traumatic labor and he looked like he had been beat up. He almost instantly turned yellow, his billirubin count was over 50! So, my tiny little 5 lb. baby
spent the next 8 days under the lights.

He has always been a happy boy. After three dark brown eyed children, we couldn't believe the blue, blue of his eyes! He had a round little head, sticky out ears and huge blue eyes! He smiled early and walked late (15 months) and I think he learned to talk at about 8 months and hasn't stopped since! Jeff is named for our good friend, "Old" Jeff and his daughter Erin. (Jeffrey Aaron) Citymama was our favorite babysitter when she was growing up and we just love her. She was a big sister and great friend to our kids. We didn't tell her that we were naming our baby for her, it was such a sweet, special moment introducing him to her in the hospital. They have always had a special bond.

Jeff is our most social child, he loves people. He has always loved adults, for his third birthday party all he wanted was his "grown-up" friends. Some of them had children his age so there were a couple of kids too.
(Find Celia Fae in the collage)

Jeff loves reality TV, his favorites are Survivor, Amazing Race and American Idol. He also loves music and movies and likes to read. His favorite subject in school is Leadership (that should tell you a lot about him!!) In the summer you can find him in the pool, he's a fish. He doesn't like Scout camp outs, going to bed at night or any food that doesn't include the suffix "ugget...." (He has a limited diet!) He also HATES Geometry. He is going to get carpal tunnel at a very young age because he loves to text message. He is really looking forward to going to Seminary next year (haha...!)

Jeff is also our family cruise director. He is always getting out games and wanting us to play. In the car he loves to have spelling games and mental math. His favorite colors are orange and lime green, (I didn't let him redecorate his room because of this). We call him 'Boy Star Reporter' because he knows everything that happens and doesn't hesitate to report!! He doesn't like snow or road trips so this week's trip to Idaho may kill him. We'll miss him.

We are so thankful for Jeff, he adds spice and spunk to our family. Just about everything I do these days irritates him...(for you young moms, be warned). I can't believe he is taller than I am now and he is changing a little bit every day. He is a sweetie and we all love him tons! Happy Birthday Fefe!!

P.S.: HAPPY 31ST ANNIVERSARY TOM & VICKI!! We love you and are so grateful for your love, support and friendship for all these years. We're thinking eternally!

P.P.S.: We're off to Idaho to meet the boyfriend from Texas. If he doesn't have wings and a halo I'm going to be disappointed!! haha

Saturday, March 15, 2008

First Aid Merit Badge

Thank goodness for Boy Scouts! This is Scotty and his best friend in the world, Matt. Matt came to our house today in perfect condition and is leaving tonight wounded. But thanks to Tenderfoot Scout, Scotty, Matt is bandaged beautifully. Notice the First Aid Kit on Scotty's lap, thank you Dr. Brother Bledsoe for helping the boys put together this lovely kit, it came in handy.

It was 8:00, and the sun was down. It is a rule (not often followed) that when the sun goes to bed, so does wildness. I was on the computer and the running started. "Stop running" I yelled in my kindest mother voice (hahaha). It didn't stop. "STOP RUNNING NOW!!", a tad more harshly. Then......boom, boom, crash, yeeeeoooooowwwww! Silence, then crying. Out comes Jeff looking guilty.

"What happened?" (This was yelled at top volume.)
"Nothing, it's okay."
Then Scotty comes out, his eyes huge. "What happened?"
"Is Matt hurt?" (I was completely out of control at this moment, I admit it.)
"No,..... just a little......."
Then Scotty comes upstairs holding a handful of band-aids.
"What do you need those for? IS MATT BLEEDING?!?" Hysteria sets in, I imagine blood gushing everywhere. I went in and braved the scene myself.
Matt is a budding hockey star and we have wounded his stick wielding arm.
The wound close-up. The boys REALLY wanted that seen. You can't see the bruise, but it's there. I hope there isn't a scar someday, because it's not a great story like getting wounded arm wrestling a crocodile or something. This is the point of impact, the drawer on Scotty's bed.
The good news is that Matt is not going to lose his arm, he recovered enough to be able to play Super Mario Bros, he gritted his teeth, but he pulled it off. Brave, Brave Matt.

Ahhh, another day in Parenting Paradise.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Is this Sacreligious or what?

Jeff and I were in Blockbuster the other day and we found this!! Is there anything that is above holiday commercialism? Jesus with bunny ears? I have never seen Him with a Santa hat or snuggled in a Christmas stocking. Is there nothing sacred?
I realize that this movie is not considered sacred by any means, but since when do we market Jesus like he's candy or a stuffed animal...
Am I the only one or is this just wrong?

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

What would you do?

I can just see the pain on this woman's face, I am so sad for her and really ticked off at him.
The Governor of New York and his wife, Silda, have been the "water cooler" talk of our office today. Why is it that when men 'misbehave' (for lack of a better term) they feel the need to parade their wives out? Wouldn't you just once LOVE to hear one of them butt in while their spouse is emotionally asking for forgiveness...."Hell no! You are a pig and I am not going to stand here like a mouse and take it. I am leaving this *bleeping* press conference, packing and taking the kids, you can rot in hell' ; Cause you know, this was not a one shot deal, he just got caught this time.
I can't believe all the emotional and physical damage done through history because of SEX. Over and over there are examples of men (and women) who give up everything, their power, their families, their self-respect for a few moments of pleasure. I don't get it. What would you do?

I personally might stand there, but I would be standing there with some body parts safely tucked away in an envelope. And he would be miserable, absolutely miserable.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Fold -n- Go Carnival

This is a public service announcement to the mothers of Brentwood:

The 'Fold -n- Go' Carnival is in town down by Centromart. Ladies, resist the urge to take your children to Taco Bell, Jack in the Box or A & W lest they see the "Pac -n- Play' rides and start the incessant begging process. Nothing screams excitement like a Ferris Wheel set up in two hours by a stalwart looking citizen named Ernie Bob with tobacco stained teeth and tattoos up the whazoo. I know that it is the not-so-secret desire of my children to frequent one of these traveling death traps. But it is the one area of their lives that I will completely control. (Well, that's not quite true, I try and control lots more...but it sounded good.)
Not only can I not risk their lives on a ride that is probably missing half a dozen nuts and bolts, but I don't want to take a second mortgage on my home! Have you seen the prices for those rides. Like $5 per ride! $5 for the priviledge of leaving your life in the hands of a carni-dude that probably drinks beer like water and is too inebriated to make a decision. Plus, I wonder what makes one want to do this for a living? Is this best they can do? Are they not smart enough to work somewhere real? "Mama, I don't want to go to Law School, I want to travel the country and sleep in a camper truck and eat corn dogs and fries for the rest of my life." Uh no.

My kids love the arcades at amusement parks. But that is not enough of a draw for me to frequent the Carnie. I DO NOT need one more cheap Scooby Doo or Marvin the Martian in my house. (Although they do come in handy at Christmas when a white elephant gift is needed.)
Speaking of corn dogs, there is ONE good thing about the carnival, fried foods. I would try not to think about health department rules, but doesn't just about anything taste better with a batter on it and lots of oil? I've never tried a deep fried twinkie, oreo, elephant ear or pickle...but I tend to think I would probably love them. In fact there are very few calories I don't love.

Carnies are a little more high class than they used to be. Gone are the bearded ladies and two headed snakes. I remember very distinctly when I was a little girl in Turlock and we drove past a carnival at the Fairgrounds. My brother Mark and I wanted to go with every fiber of our beings. My mother picked that moment to become Mother of the Year and refused. So sadly, I have never seen the lady with her head on backwards or the 18" man. I had my chance, and it was snatched from me. No wonder I am the way I am.

I guess every adult has that one dream that was denied them as a child; mine was a Ferris Wheel in the dark at the county fairgrounds, happily munching on a corn dog in one hand and cotton candy in the other. And if my kids think I'm going to make that dream come true for them, they're freakin' crazy.

****I apologize to any who have relatives that I may have offended in my gross stereotyping, but believe me, I have a few doozies of my own in the family tree.******

Saturday, March 8, 2008's not on my side.

I have a rhetorical question; why is it that other people think that THEIR time is infinitely more important than MINE?

Over and over this week I have had experiences regarding time that truly infuriated me. I'll share a few.

Friday I was running a little late for Seminary but I had promised doughnuts to my darlings. I was walking to the check-out with my little box of doughnuts and a woman saw me and literally RAN to the checkstand to beat me. "Oh sorry," she apologized to me, "I'm in a huge hurry!"
Oh, by all means, cut in front of me, your 'in a hurry ' is MUCH more important than mine.

Thursday we were at the Dr. waiting for Byron's appointment. When we got there, there wasn't a receptionist at the desk, just someone filling in. She gave us a paper with the time we had arrived written at the top. 14 minutes later the receptionist came and signed us in. Then other patients started to arrive and one by one they were called in and we sat, and sat, and sat.
Finally after an HOUR Byron went up and asked what was going on. "Oh sorry!! I'll tell them in the back you were on time..." 20 minutes later we went to the Blood pressure station (by then I am sure I was near stroke level). We sat THERE for 20 more minutes. Then we were finally put in a room where we waited for 20 minutes more. Then the Dr. came in. Byron was shooting me dagger looks from across the room, "don't insult him...he holds my life in his hands". Now, I have CHRONIC problems with saying exactly what I am thinking. Byron knows this personality flaw and was terrified I was going to humiliate him. I was trying to put "I'm so pissed, I'm so pissed..." out of my brain so I wouldn't blurt it out. I was concentrating so hard by singing songs from the Sound of Music, I am surprised I didn't blurt out a rousing rendition of the "Lonely Goatherd"
Guess what the Dr. said? "oops I guess we screwed up today!" Ya think?

Today we were at Lowe's buying a new stove and cooktop (woot-woot!! I'm a happy camper!). First of all we stood there for 15 minutes until someone decided they wanted to make a sale to us. We were the only ones there with four salespeople and not ONE said anything to us. Finally we got served and as we were writing things up, a man walks up and wants help NOW:
"Okay, sir, I can help you in just a minute, I'm with a customer already."
"No, I'm not happy and I want help NOW."
"Sir, I'll be with you in a few minutes."
"No, I'm in a hurry, I'm not happy and I want help NOW."
Oh well then, by all means, YOU go first...we have nothing BUT time and obviously YOU sir, are much more important. Good freakin' grief.

Have you ever had some one pass you in the right hand lane only to then pull in right in front of you??? If you ever want to hear my husband say things he really shouldn't, drive with him when someone does this. He will go on a rampage like no other. "Oh, so you saved yourself 2 seconds...and your 2 seconds are more important than MY 2 seconds......." and on and on. This makes the normally very nice Byron a complete maniac, and scary.

My absolute favorite is the lady who literally put her cup in front of mine when I was pushing the button getting my daily Diet Pepsi! I was pushing the button for myself and SHE filled her cup. Now that's nerve, (I want to maintain a good rating or I would say something else.) "Oh thanks!" she giggled and flashed her pearly whites.
Sometimes I wish it was legal to carry a stun-gun.

Can anyone else relate?

Thursday, March 6, 2008

So sweet

This is my son Jeff who will be 14 in a couple of weeks. As an assignment in Language Arts he had to write an essay about someone who has changed his life. He chose to write about his oldest sister Rachel who is very disabled. Go to his blog to read it (Click link below), it is just about the sweetest thing I have ever read. It's nice to know that he has such tender feelings for her.

My Son Jeff's Blog

Monday, March 3, 2008

The Miracle Worker

This is Stacy. She is my very best friend in the whole world. (Sorry Vicki)
I love Stacy. She is a miracle worker.

This is where Stacy works, at 'Tangles Salon'
in beautiful Brentwood. Stacy is a hair stylist and as I said before, a miracle worker. She is a hoot. Her family were patients of Byron's when he was still Dentisting. They live around the corner and down the street from us. She graduated from the same high school as wild child did one year before him. Her best friend is a member of our old ward. Her other good friend dated my nephew. (some stories to tell there!!) We have all these parallel connections but never met until a few months ago.

Like every good salon, Tangles is ripe with gossip. I have lived here for 22 years and know lots of people and know OF lots of people. It is fun to go and hear all the stories. I get kinda ticked off when someone turns on a hairdryer and I can't hear. Every time I go in there are a couple of people I know and it's fun to catch up. Tangles is a cute salon with a cute receptionist that I know from the high school. (I think she is horrified every time I walk in, remember, I work in the DISCIPLINE office....) They have chocolate at the front desk. Points for that. You can also have waxing done there, no thanks! Just the eyebrows. Stacy is also a makeup artist...but I don't think even she, the miracle worker that she is, can get rid of my double chin. dang it.

Stacy can take my hair from looking like this...80% gray roots showing (and a bald spot that I just noticed) drab, lifeless and big time root problems,

and make it look like this!!! New color, new life, cut great...
In 3 hours and for a cost that equals the Gross National Product of a small African nation, she restores some of my youth and A LOT of my self esteem. I tell you, nothing,
(well almost nothing ) is better than having your hair washed and fussed with. I could almost purr. And the products they use always smell SO good. I'm too cheap to buy a $35 shampoo. (Maybe that's not being cheap, it's being sensible and respectful to our checkbook?) I love the whole hair thing, it is my favorite way to pamper myself. Besides, I'd rather not look old yet, I will go down kicking and screaming. Thank you to whoever invented hair dye, you are my hero.

Oh! AND after you have your hair colored, washed and cut you can go across the parking lot to Loards' Ice Cream and get Peppermint ice cream all year long. I ask you...does it get better than that? So...what's your favorite way to be pampered? Does anyone love the whole hair experience as much as I do?

Saturday, March 1, 2008

If things had happened differently

My brother sent me something hysterically funny. If you need a good laugh, if you want a great laugh, if you haven't done crunches in a while and your abs are in need of a good workout....
Scroll down.

You might want to go to the bathroom first.

This just shows you what a little luck can do.
Their lives might have been WAY different.

Jessica Simpson & friend

Just plain Jen,

Porno Star Johnny

The real Brittany Mug shot

Madonna , Church Secretary

Lady Godiva Paltrow

Johnny Vegas Travolta

Nicole with a few extra grams on her.

Dave and Vicky Beckham

Mary Kate & Ashley going to the Prom

(i'm going to get in trouble from my daughter for this one)

School Secretary Pam Anderson

And saving the best for last....some people should not be allowed to procreate...

Baby Harlow.