Wednesday, June 25, 2008

And the Mother of the Bride wore...



The worst part of this whole wedding thing has been finding a dress for moi. What do you put on a short, squat, round body that would instantly melt away tonage? I believe I am going to opt for a gunny sack with sparkles. I still have my Bedazzler from the 80's, in all the garage cleanings for the past 20 years it has been spared JUST IN CASE. I'm thinking now is the time to dust it off.

I have ordered no less than nine dresses. Nothing looks good. I hate it when people say that, NOTHING looks good. But trust me, nothing looks good.

Here's a sprinking of what I have found:

NO comment needed.
okay, one comment, Speaking of the 80's.....



Oh yeah, this is so appropriate for an almost 50 year old at her daughter's wedding.



Brought to you by Omar the tent maker, I would feel practically biblical in this. Plus, just love a dress that you can see the shoulder pads.



This would look fabulous with MY hips. After the reception I am already dressed for late night salsa dancing.

A little matronly don't you think?



I could do a little Anna Nicole. Seriously, this was in the Mother of the Bride section!
Think Lauren would like her hootchie mama to come to the reception?



If I were six feet tall this might work. I think at 5'3", it's a little much.



So, I think it is coming down to these two. The black one comes in a cocoa color and a pink. What do you think? What's your vote?

Oh, remember I do love to accessorize....













19 comments:

Hollyween said...

My vote is the one that comes in cocoa. Classy.

Or you could find a really nice fancy-ish blazer with a matching skirt. Ya know, those sparkly blazers. They look nice too.

Ilene said...

First of all, my now sister-in-law's mother wore an Anna Nicole halter dress to their wedding except it was tight and not quite knee length. My mom looked EXTREMELY biblical next to her. It made for good pictures at the temple (obviously the mother is not LDS).

I vote for the one on the left. But the black one is nice too. So, there you have absolutely no help from me.

Anderson Zoo Keepers said...

♥!♥! the bows on the leg/cast/thing. You are kinda the awesomest.

But yeah you aren't supposed to outshine the bride anyway, so I think they do this horrible dress thing on purpose.

Tristan said...

LOVE the bows! Love them! So cute!

I really like the black dress too, and I am thinking you could go with either color. Cocoa would look nice, and dark neutral tones are flattering. However, Pink is always a good choice and I think it would look great with your skin tone. Also it is an August Wedding and pink would be lighter and maybe more cooler than the Cocoa?

Just my 2 cents worth there.

Annemarie said...

Just keep up with the pink bow thing...strategically placed up & down your body!

the wrath of khandrea said...

wow. this was seriously funny. i want to see you bedazzle your foot cast.

i'm sorry to say i haven't followed all the wedding details, but if it's outdoors and daytime, i'd go with pink. maybe treat yourself to 2 dresses and wear the black one to the reception. although you know people always say "can you believe she wore black to her own daughter's wedding? what kind of mother in law will SHE be!"

i only said that because i know how badly you don't want to be a psycho mother in law.

Anonymous said...

i am lurker ... and a bride getting married this winter. i love wedding wednesdays! :)

my mom is gorgeous ... but i have a feeling her self description would match your own. you mommys are too hard on yourselves.

anyway, she found a beautiful dress for a good price by alfred angelo. i think most bridal shops carry his stuff. you might want to check out that collection.

Margaret said...

Jenibelle Jenibelle Jenibelle! You are so funny.

Now, I think the Omar one looks oddly like Ilene when her hair is pulled back ...although Ilene would NEVER dress like that and she's much prettier.

Ok...for serious. I vote for the one on the left too. But, just for helping sake...have you seen the book "The Science of Sexy" by Bradley Bayou. I know I know you don't want to look "sexy" persay at your daughter's wedding. But, that book is awesome. He's a designer and talks about wearing the best things for your body type. He has you measure and figure out your type. No pears or bananas in his book...just Triangle, Inverted Triangle, Rectangle or Hourglass. Then based on your height and weight he assigns you a fitting room. In that fitting room, you'll find three pages of what looks great on your body and 1 page of what doesn't. It's really helpful!

Anyway, that was long! But, I'm sure with that sparkling blog personality you have you will look beautiful in anything!

Miss Candy Anderson said...

Cocoa. Cocoa. The skirt is my favorite!!!

Chillygator said...

That third one looks very Tab Choir...

I like the style of the black, so I'd do that in whatever color.

Jen said...

Sorry to say, but you have me beat in the heighth area! Try 5'1" and built like a large plump snowman, on for size.

I definitely like Andrea's idea. Buy both dresses! Wear one to the temple and the other to the reception. Problem solved. I'd prefer the cocoa one, also.

Lauren said...

MOTHER!!!! i like the ones i sent you. but out of the last 2 i like them both. i would say go for a brown.

Lauren said...

i hope that leg cast is gone by disney....that's REALLY gonna slow us down

Anonymous said...

Those are both beautiful dresses, I think the soft pink would look lovely with your blonde hair, but the black and coco are nice too, you are just so cute!

queenieweenie said...

Pink bows on a boot. You are a woman after my own heart.

Whatever you choose-Spanx are your friend (I wear them EVERY Sunday when I have to stand next to all my skinny friends).

Caroline C. Bingham said...

I vote you wear a brown bikini with pink polka dots.

Or the brown tux. You know, just for kicks.

Lauren in GA said...

Okay, I am totally laughing.....but, I promise it is not AT you...you are just so funny!


I say the Cocoa!! I am really in to browns right now.


I read Lauren's comment...maybe you can add wheels to the cast so you can just rollerskate at Disney ;)

Christie said...

I love the one in cocoa also. So, so pretty!

diane said...

Love the bows! My friend blinged out my leg brace. I also have bling on my cane.