I would most sincerely value your opinion on a subject that I did not know was so extremely polarizing, but every time I discuss it with anyone, you would think that it is a matter of national security like an election. It's not.
Is it perfectly tacky or perfectly socially acceptable to include enclosures in wedding invitations that say: "Bride & Groom are registered at This Place."? What are your thoughts? Are you offended, do you think it is awful? OR Do you not give it a second thought because every one seems to be doing it?
ALSO....Last call for advice and/or recipes for Lauren's Blogging Shower. I have gotten quite a few but there are a some amazing women out there that I have not heard from....you know who you are! Thank you to everyone who has participated, what fun all this is!!
34 comments:
I think it's perfectly acceptable to include these in invitations. Actually, I prefer when they're in there...I hate taking a gift to a wedding, not knowing if it's something they want and can use, or not!
I find it extremely helpful if I know that a couple is registered somewhere. The last wedding I went to didn't have a registry and I ended up getting them a gift card because I was clueless. So, go for it! Those that think it's tacky can just ignore the card and do whatever they want to as far as the gift goes.
I was married 7 years ago, and my Mom said it was tacky to put them in the invitations. I personally didn't care, but I went along with my Mom and we didn't put them in.
But then I didn't really get a whole lot of what I wanted or needed, because no one knew where we were registered at! Everyone does it now-a-days and its socially acceptable. I think it is helpful so you can give the couple something they want or need.
But I do see how it is tacky because it looks like you are asking for gifts? I don't know. It doesn't bother me if they are in wedding invites. Go ahead and put them in, 99.9% of people appreciate them.
I'll decent on this one - since you asked and all. I don't think it's right to put them in there. It's like asking for a gift. And heaven knows that the companies who have helpfully printed them up for you have only done it to help their own bottom-line not because they are following Emily Post.
If someone wants to know where they are registered all they have to do is ask OR they can easily search around just a little and find out. Any more it isn't at all difficult to look up online if someone is registered at Target or Macys or whatever. I think if someone is motivated enough to get to a registry they are going to do it whether it's in the invite or not.
wow. this is a tough one. i totally agree with the zoo keeper here, and i think it's tacky. but at the same time, i find it very relieving when i receive one because then i don't have to worry about where they're registered and what to buy.
i tend to feel that if someone wants to know where they couple is registered, they could make the effort to find out. but then i know myself, and all my good intentions woudl go right out the window and at the last minute i'd pull an "OH CRAP, NO PRESENT!" and run by walmart for a colander.
good luck. let us know what you decide!
I don't get offended if there is like one but if there are 4 or 5, that's where I draw the line because I don't appreciate the junkmail.
Totally totally add the registrations in there. That kind of over the top etiquette isn't practical. We all know we're getting the bride and groom a gift--why not know exactly what they want!
I wish I had done it when I was getting married. I really didn't need two toasters, hot pink towels, a USED table cloth, and the elephant sculpture.
I'm relieved to find them in the invitation. I do, however,think it's rude when they are asking for outragiously priced items that they will probably use only once.
I think its great to know what the couple wants (and so I don't have to think of it), and hopefully people will look at the registry and see that they already have a waffle iron, and not buy them another one. That is a dream though, I ended up with 5 waffle irons, and 3 spice racks even though the registry said someone had already purchased it. In fact, the registry said, wants 1, received 2.
I agree they are a tad tacky, but not tacky enough that they shouldn't be included. They are more helpful than tacky. I also agree to keep it to a minimum. One. Two TOPS!
What I think is tacky is when this line is on the invite: "In lieu of gifts, the bride and groom would appreciate cash." WHAT? Now, THAT is tacky.
BARF.
And, yes, I know who I am. I'm working on it. My brain is fried. Can't I just steal Andrea's potholder idea?!?!?!
Hmm, I'm going to have to go with tacky, but to be honest, sometimes I'm just a little too stuffy about this kind of stuff. And, if they want to register somewhere unusual, then I would say you must include them or...
To compensate for not including them we registered at lots of different places. But, we also did an out of town wedding and got mostly $$ instead of gifts. So...forget what I said in the beginning and include them, it will be easier for everyone.
While I totally understand the purpose, I also think they're tacky. But I'm the kind of guest who would go online and LOOK for the bride's registry rather than just buy them a toaster. I also think just getting gift cards is a great idea because so many couples then have to move all of their loot with them back to Provo or wherever and gift cards are much easier to transport. ;) But if they insist on putting something in, I would prefer it just be ONE piece of paper. Maybe even professionally printed in the style of the invitation to make it look classier and less like it came from Target??
By the way, this is my first time commenting here and I have to tell you I used to work for a guy with your same last name! You've gotta be related somehow because it's not the most common name! His first name is Doug. Love your blog!
I despise it. I didn't even register anywhere, that's what I think about it. But I know that is not going to happen, and I get that, but including it in the invitation is so tacky that the wedding I went to this weekend did it and I specifically did not get anything they registered for just to prove a point.
I really have strong feelings about this one. But I do find it to be the tackiest new trend in weddings. It's one thing in a shower invite (I still don't like it, but accept it), but in a wedding invitation, it is the worst!
Not tacky, not tacky at all...and I am someone who worries about tact quite a bit. People WANT to give gifts, and it certainly is helpful to know where they are registered without having to play detective...who has time for that??? I would draw the line at one card, though. In shower invites, put as many cards as necessary, but in the invite/announcement, one is plenty.
I'll speak for the youngins out there: I hate it. I think it is so tacky- especially if she's registered at Target, BB&B, or Macy's. Why? Because EVERYONE is registered there, and ANYONE can walk into there and pull up their registries. Super easy. I didn't a- have a reception, and b- include those things in my announcement, and I didn't get any overlaps, but I still got A HUGE portion of what I had registered for. I won't think you're lame if you end up sending them out, but I still hate it when I see them!
i like the idea mom, don't worry about whether it is tacky or not, who really cares? I mean if they don't like it then they don't have to but i think there are also people who really appreciate it. It is not going to be the end of the world if a few people scowl at it, you can never please everyone.
I will speak from the above 50 crowd then.....I like it when they are included because then I can just get on line; go to the website and see what they want/need. I agree that when they are registered at like 4 stores that it is tacky; but registering at 1 or 2 is really helpful. I have had some pretty classy enclosures with the gift registery stuff included and some tacky looking ones....so do a classy one and it won't look tacky at least! They are helpful.
Also, if the bride thinks it is ok then it is ok....it is her wedding!!!
I agree with your saying that it seems to be a, "matter of national security". Why do people get so psycho about details like that? I have a friend that gets CRAZY about how TACKY she thinks things are....My opinion is...I LOVE it when I find out where the couple is registered and I do not think it is tacky at all. It saves me from having to call and find out where the bride and groom are registered. Those etiqette rules are ancient (in my opinion)
I like that they are on a card that you can just slip in the envelope...although, I have received invitations that it was printed on the actual invitation and some people felt it was in poor taste...It really didn't bother me, though...but then again...I am not the classiest gal you will ever meet.
I think it is very helpful when it is put in the invitation. If not, I usually make a phone call and ask...very convenient.
It's not tacky, often helpful as long as they realize people may want to do something else besides what's on the registry anyway. Everyone should just relish in the joy of the occassion and apperciate the support of their prescence, gift or not!
It's tacky but a lot of people do it. If they want to know where registered, just ask. Personally I always give money because that is the most appreciated, and everybody really just wants money anyway. I get the best thank you notes. Plus, then no $ is wasted on wrapping and tax and shipping.
I have been racking my brain for good marriage tips for Lolo, and I got none. So I'll send just good enough.
SOOO sorry about your new accessory. I prefer the pink shoes. I think you should wear them with the cast. And get a slammin' purse.
www.shopsueyboutique.com
LOVE that place. Adorable, inexpensive purses.
Not tacky at all. This way the bride and groom get what they want. Also when I open up an invite and see where they are registered it causes less stress for me of going out and finding something that I think they'll like.
Okay...it IS tackey etiquette-wise. I guess I'm going against popular opinion here but that is one of my wedding pet-peeves. That and "announcing" the wedding on the invitation. You're not supposed to announce something until it's occured. Okay, lest my comment sound too snarky...I LOVE wedding Wednesdays! I'm so excited for Lauren and her big day. Plus, your posts make me laugh and I love to laugh!
Go with the bride!!!
I'm of the set that says no--it looks like you're inviting someone because you want a gift, not just because you want them there. Those cards the retailers hand out are for showers--which is specifically a gift-giving party. It's also so easy to get online and check 2 or 3 stores to see where a couple is registered. If people are too lazy to take 5 minutes and check a couple stores (in person--hello, doesn't everyone register at Target?--online or by phone), they're certainly not going to buy you something you registered for anyway.
I also got an invitation this month where the registry info was printed on the invitation itself--extremely tacky!
I also think it's a little tacky. But it seems to be the thing-to-do nowadays and I'm really old and out of touch...
I am sending a recipe right now!
p.s. Will you post the wedding advice and recipes, please?!
Tacky. I have taken a stand on this before and got raked over the coals for it. But I still think it's tacky.
Including the registry info is saying, "BUY ME A GIFT HERE". Tacky. My 3 boys will probably marry girls who print the registry information on the announcement and I will have to graciously smile and act like it is a great idea.
Having said that, I think the bride should do what ever she wants. It's her day. I will try not to pass judgment on her upbringing just because she is demanding that I buy her gift at Bed Bath and Beyond.
Oh, my wedding advice:
Astroglide.
Totally acceptable but warn your daughter that Target has crazy return policies to check those out prior to returning stuff (at least my sister ran into problems).
If your still wavering, perhaps registration notices can be put in with the shower invitation?
Do you have my frozen hot chocolate recipe? That is a good newlywed (read cheap) recipe and so delicious. You can find it here:
Advice to a newlywed:
My mom told me to have the table set when he comes home from work. That way he thinks you have been working on dinner for a long time. I can't say I followed this advice yet but I do know this tactic worked on my dad; he was always please upon seeing the table set when he came home from work.
I like to know exactly what someone wants! If I don't know what they want, I'm in the store for WAY longer than I should be because I question if they will like, need, enjoy my gift. If I see it on the list and I can afford it, then I am happy and they are too because they wanted it. I say, put the cards in!
I am OBSESSED with this post (& the comments)...and I'm starting to feel a little, shall we say, tacky.
I remember NOT putting them in my wedding invites (per my mom's suggestion), but I have NEVER given it a second thought when someone else does. In fact, I usually appreciate it. Whatever you decide, it will be the right choice & everything will be wonderful!
I just got back in to read people's opinions, and I'm surprised to see what they've thought. I never even dreamed it would be tacky to put my registries on my announcement, but everyone has different ideas. My big thing (and Will's) is that I HATE all the crap (read inserts) that fall out of invitations when you open them. Figure out how to put it all on one insert (registries if you decide, maps, etc), so there's nothing to lose.
Also... I agree with Robin's wedding advice.
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