Monday, April 14, 2008

Do they celebrate in Heaven?


Floyd & EvaDean (Last) Rydalch
April 15, 1949 & 1999

Today would be the 59th anniversary of the two most important people in my life, my Mom and Dad. We don't share genetics and we don't have a legal decree stating so, but these are my parents. I wish I had the writing talent that so many of you do because I would really like to paint a portrait of how wonderful they are.

In my quest this year to write a little about my life, the story of how I became one of the Rydalch kids is foremost. The story in my opinion borders on miraculous. Anything that I am that is good is from my Mom and Dad. This is for my kids, but you can read along if you like!

My birth mother is a beautiful, smart, and funny woman. She just probably shouldn't have been my mother. I will not disparage her in any way, I am thankful that despite all the struggles in her life ultimately she did the hardest thing a mother can do. My father was equally handsome and talented, he just didn't want to be our father. They divorced when I was three. Judy remarried. Enough said on that! The day after I finished third grade, I was put on a Greyhound bus, all by my little eight year self and sent to Seattle. I lived with my father, my grandparents and aunt. Then I was sent to Alaska to live with my mother's aunt and uncle. I loved my Alaska years.

A few years later I moved again back to Turlock where I had lived before. I lived in a few foster homes while my fate was decided. Eventually I moved back with my family. My mother divorced again and immediately remarried and we moved to another town. During our stay in this town I eventually left my mother's home for good. My counselor at school was LDS and he took me home with him and I stayed there for a bit with his family. Then I lived in 3 other foster homes while waiting for someone to want me.

Don't be sad for me at all...there's a happy ending! Meanwhile, for two years a kindly farmer that everyone called Bud was dreaming about a new daughter. He would tell his wife about the very vivid dreams. His new daughter was little, wore glasses and had blonde hair. She had a brother too that would show up in some dreams. His wife thought he was crazy, after all she was 48 and not about to have another child! One day his Stake President, Tom Stone called. He said he needed to talk to them. Bud went to the Stake center to meet Pres. Stone. He was told that there was a young girl who needed a home. "I've been waiting for her, when do we get her?"

I came the next day. 14 years old, short, scared and full of attitude. From that day in 1974 I have been their daughter. Not foster daughter, no labels at all, their daughter. My new siblings learned to love me and accept me and teach me. This family was very different from any I had ever been a part of. They ate wheat mush and didn't watch much TV! They were so loving and so kind. They prayed every day and taught me the gospel. I learned how to sew, can, garden, laugh, how to lead, how to have confidence in myself, to believe in my goodness.

One time I was at Girl's camp and was turning 16. I had a 'boyfriend' at the time, he and his friends drove up to Clark's Fork where our camp was and camped across the road from the camp. My best friend Anna Lisa and I went across the road to see him. He brought red roses and I took them back to camp. What was I thinking? When the leaders found out I had left camp, they sent me home. Dad was on the high council and was Priesthood in camp. That drive home was the longest 3 hours of my life. He didn't speak a word. When we got home, I went to my room and started to pack my things. Dad came to the door and asked what I was doing?
"I'm packing, aren't you going to send me away?"
"Do you want to go?" he asked.
"No." I said.
"Then why don't you unpack and let's talk."
That was one of the most important lessons of my life, you don't give up on people. You love them more when they need it.

Later after I turned 18 I moved out to live with a friend. I would come on Sundays for dinner. One Sunday I told Mom how my roommate Patty was moving to Utah and I wasn't sure what to do now. "Why don't you just come home?" Home, the sweetest word ever. For the first time in my life I knew I had a real home with real parents who loved me. I moved home. When I went away to BYU, this is where I came home on holidays and breaks. When I got married, it was this Mom and Dad with me in the temple and standing by me proudly. Mom was there when all my children were born. Mom and Dad traveled to LA to be with us when Rachel was hurt. When Mom passed away five years ago, we girls were cleaning out her drawers. In a box in her drawer were mementos just of me. I pulled out a well worn piece of paper, it was my first talk in church. Written on it was, 'Jeni's first talk in church. Bud and I are so proud of our girl.'

At their 50th anniversary party my brother said "Let's just get a picture of the real family."
"Great idea!" Dad said in his booming voice, "All you in-laws get out of the picture. Jeni, sweetheart, you stand here next to me."
Guess he told him!!

They are both gone now and I miss them. My proudest cheerleaders, my parents. Their children are my brother and sisters, their grandchildren, my nieces and nephews. And I am a proud member of the Rydalch family. Before he passed away Dad gave me a blessing, he told me not to worry about my place in their family, that Heavenly Father would work it out, that I would always and forever be his daughter. As Mom was being wheeled in to the surgery that would ultimately take her life, I told her that I loved her. She answered to me that she loved me too, that I had brought joy into their lives and that their family was complete when I came to them. I am a lucky girl.

This is our family in 1979. I'm standing in the middle next to my sister, Robyn. Rose is kneeling in front of me, Cheryl is on the end in the blazer and my brother Kim is in the back in the striped shirt. Look at my Mom...this picture says everything about her!!!
I hope they get to eat jello and cake today in Heaven to celebrate, that's what we're going to have!

P.S. I do have a brother, Mark. Mom and Dad would have taken him too!!! They grew to love him very much also.

18 comments:

Heather said...

What a beautiful tribute!!

On a separate note-who got the coo-coo clock on the wall. Did it work?

When are you coming to Zion?! Let's go eat and gossip.

Jenibelle said...

The clock worked, Cheryl is the proud owner. You should see my gorgeous cherrywood table that's 90 years old!!

I'm coming next week! Rachel and I are looking at flights. We'll be in touch!

Celia Fae said...

You know, I've never heard that story from start to finish. Thanks for putting it all together for me. I hope they can read it somewhere!

Ilene said...

Made me cry.

I so happy you got the happiest of endings in finding your family.

Jake said...

I am sobbing. What amazing people. Surely they are some of the sweetest angels up in heaven. You have had an incredible adventure of a life!

Christie said...

I don't like to cry this early in the morning. This was just beautiful. What an incredible story. You are am amazing person. Thanks for sharing.

Nancy said...

I've cried my way through this story. I'm so glad you found such an amazing family. Some of us are born into great families. Others, like yourself, have to be strong enough to find our families.

Lisa-Marie said...

Well, you and Christie are both in trouble. Today is supposed to be my "no comment" day (I have to take a day off every other day or blogging would consume me.)Anyway, you both MADE me leave comments and WORSE, you both made me cry. Stinkers.

Seriously though, that was beautiful. You had told me bits of the story but I was happy to hear the whole thing. What special parents you have. I'm glad that you have that written down for posterity. Many people will learn what true love is from reading your story.

AnnEE said...

Ok, so to signify that one is laughing, they would say HAHAHA. In our family, we say "Memememememe". When I see you I will do an impression.

memememem. That was beautiful. I don't know them, but I miss them now because of this story!

Can't wait to see you in Utah!

Jessica said...

Thanks so so much for writing that. It's so fun to know you a little better. Amazing people and amazing you for being who you are, despite how it all started.

Hazen5 said...

It's a sad but, good story! It made you who you are today! They were Angels on earth!
Don't forget about the Pool Table you also got!

D-dawg said...

What inspiring and wonderful people! I am so amazed. That story was so touching, thanks for sharing. I want to be like them!

martyrudd said...

OK Jeni, I am finally leaving a comment. What an awesome tribute to your parents. They are both smiling down on you, girl!!
And thanks for the super noodle recipe in your last blog.
Love you!

Lauren in GA said...

Thank you so much for posting this! I am crying right now and I am so gratful to have read it.

What amazing people! The water works really started coming when I read how your Dad told you to stand next to him for the picture!

Thank you, again.

I think you wrote this so beautifully! Don't ever think you can't express yourself in the written word. This post was fantastic!

Yay, for happy endings.

Kellie said...

Thanks Jeni...I needed a good cry. I miss them so much and think about them almost every day.

Annemarie said...

That is an amazing story, and I am typing through the tears right now. There is such a lesson there about unconditional love. Thank you for sharing that!

Nortorious said...

What a kind post. Good use of blog for journaling/family history purposes. Star for you on the going to heaven progress chart.

Kim Walus said...

I'm so happy to hear the whole story. I remember meeting your mom and dad several years ago. They are wonderful people and took such good care of you. I know how much you LOVE them!

You'll always miss them. I especially miss my mom on Mother's Day but, I also give deep gratitude for her life, her example, and her life. You will always have that!

Love you Jeni!