Can you see what just might not belong on my desk?
Can you see it? Do you need a closer look?
Yep, right there in a public school, a Jack Daniels bottle on the Mormon's desk! How and why did it get there, you might ask?
This is why I love my job. Yesterday this happened:
Telephone rings in my office..."This is Jeni..."
"Hey Jen, Gooch here (a coach), hey, could you send someone to the girls locker room? I have a drunk girl here."
"Yep!" So I get on my radio and call for a campus supervisor to go to the gym, "Possible H & S" I say. (Health & Safety issue)
About 5 minutes later, the campus supe opens the door, and I can smell her from my desk!
"Oh my!" says I.
"T------, what's going on?"
"I'm drunk I think!!"
"Well, I think you might be a little tipsy, do you know who I am?"
"well, shore I dooooo....yor Ms. G!" (say this with a slurred voice...)
"That's right! Did you drink something?" (Say this trying not to get sick from the smell.)
"YEP!" she yelled, "I went to Longs and I stole some Jack and I drank it with Pepsi!" very proudly said. "oh......."
"Dianna!" I calmly yell, "get me a garbage can....!"
So I stood next to T----- holding her long hair out of her face while she barfed and barfed and more... Then she started to sway and sweat and turn ghostly white. I know from experience that she was getting ready to pass out. So now I had to keep her awake.
As I calmly barked orders to everyone (and I really am calm in a crisis, unbelieveably so, I turn into a machine, seriously.) "Please lock my door so no students can come in, would you please get her emergency info for me...would you please, No T-----, you can't lay down sweetheart, let's just keep talking. How much did you drink?" (Need to know this for emergency personnel)
Dianna, please go get Matt, (the school 's officer)? Is there an administrator anywhere to be found?"
"I drank the whole bottle...."
"A little bottle? "
"No! The BIG one! I put it in my purse and I drank it. I'm having a bad day." (Well, I think that's an understatement)
We finally get the breathalizer out and get her to blow in it. She is THE drunkest student I have ever seen in four years. We are all worried about alcohol poisoning so the ambulance is called.
The Mom shows up sobbing.... they strap her down on her side and start an IV right in my office.
I can see why kids drink. It is so glamorous and fun, don't you think?
The janitor found the bottle in the trash and thought I would like it for a souvenir, he has a warped sense of humor. They've been calling me a Jack Mormon all day. Funny, funny people.
This is why I love my job. Yesterday this happened:
Telephone rings in my office..."This is Jeni..."
"Hey Jen, Gooch here (a coach), hey, could you send someone to the girls locker room? I have a drunk girl here."
"Yep!" So I get on my radio and call for a campus supervisor to go to the gym, "Possible H & S" I say. (Health & Safety issue)
About 5 minutes later, the campus supe opens the door, and I can smell her from my desk!
"Oh my!" says I.
"T------, what's going on?"
"I'm drunk I think!!"
"Well, I think you might be a little tipsy, do you know who I am?"
"well, shore I dooooo....yor Ms. G!" (say this with a slurred voice...)
"That's right! Did you drink something?" (Say this trying not to get sick from the smell.)
"YEP!" she yelled, "I went to Longs and I stole some Jack and I drank it with Pepsi!" very proudly said. "oh......."
"Dianna!" I calmly yell, "get me a garbage can....!"
So I stood next to T----- holding her long hair out of her face while she barfed and barfed and more... Then she started to sway and sweat and turn ghostly white. I know from experience that she was getting ready to pass out. So now I had to keep her awake.
As I calmly barked orders to everyone (and I really am calm in a crisis, unbelieveably so, I turn into a machine, seriously.) "Please lock my door so no students can come in, would you please get her emergency info for me...would you please, No T-----, you can't lay down sweetheart, let's just keep talking. How much did you drink?" (Need to know this for emergency personnel)
Dianna, please go get Matt, (the school 's officer)? Is there an administrator anywhere to be found?"
"I drank the whole bottle...."
"A little bottle? "
"No! The BIG one! I put it in my purse and I drank it. I'm having a bad day." (Well, I think that's an understatement)
We finally get the breathalizer out and get her to blow in it. She is THE drunkest student I have ever seen in four years. We are all worried about alcohol poisoning so the ambulance is called.
The Mom shows up sobbing.... they strap her down on her side and start an IV right in my office.
I can see why kids drink. It is so glamorous and fun, don't you think?
The janitor found the bottle in the trash and thought I would like it for a souvenir, he has a warped sense of humor. They've been calling me a Jack Mormon all day. Funny, funny people.
I had a post about Tuxedo's last night, I took it off because I got three of the meanest e-mails about "who did I think I was? " I don't even know these people. They have never commented on my, or any blog I have ever seen. Why they took such a negative view towards me, I don't know. But it hurt. I was just having fun and Lauren loved it! Of course I know she is the bride and she has the ultimate say...(but since I AM paying for it....) I am a tender hearted MOB, and this cut me to the core. ( And I am trying to figure out how to get my email address off!!)
To make things better...Rachel H. and I are off to Utah tomorrow to meet Lauren and have a whirlwind of shopping! We will be seeing Anne, Heather and my friends Kim & Natalie. Rachel and I have dreamed of this day for a while now, I am so thankful that we get to share it together! I hope we get a dress for Lolo, bridesmaids, flower girls etc....it's going to be fun! What a fun time in all our lives as we prepare for a temple marriage for two of the kindest, sweetest, funniest, wonderful young people I have ever known. And one of them is mine! I am blessed.
To make things better...Rachel H. and I are off to Utah tomorrow to meet Lauren and have a whirlwind of shopping! We will be seeing Anne, Heather and my friends Kim & Natalie. Rachel and I have dreamed of this day for a while now, I am so thankful that we get to share it together! I hope we get a dress for Lolo, bridesmaids, flower girls etc....it's going to be fun! What a fun time in all our lives as we prepare for a temple marriage for two of the kindest, sweetest, funniest, wonderful young people I have ever known. And one of them is mine! I am blessed.
18 comments:
You school stories are the absolute best. Thank you so much for sharing. What was the BAC? Inquiring minds want to know.
Your tuxedo post was really good and not at all bossy to Lolo. Next time leave it up and just erase the nasty comments. The rest of us want to weigh in!
Your life is a total study of contrasts! Spiritual, drunkenness, wedding fun and psycho comments. Thanks for sharing!!
I was wondering what happened to your post. I was really looking forward to commenting. I don't think you're bossy at all, just smart enough to get some input so you can make your daughter's day perfect!
Sorry about those dumb people. These wedding planning posts are so much fun and never have I got them impression that you are being a MOBzilla - those people are lame and need a better hobby.
So, what happens to the student - was she okay, does she get suspended or is the trip to the ER and massive hangover enough punishment?
5 days suspended, 3 for alcohol, 2 for shoplifting (during school hours)
Her BAL was a .58. She was admitted to the hospital for alcohol poisoning and was still there yesterday. Plus, she will be arrested and it's a juvenile felony which means she will be on supervised probation and in diversion program for up to 18 months. It is so sad!
I got e-mails, not comments! That makes it a little more personal!
Okay everyone, weigh in on the tuxedo question! Lauren says Skyler wears black, but what about brown for the groomsmen?
ugh, I hate stupid people.
Love the drunk girl story.
If the groom is in black, everyone else should wear black too. (well, according to MY personal style beliefs)
That is so scary (about the BAC and the nasty emails).
It's so easy for people to say rude things anonymously from the comfort of their own homes. Chickens.
I think you asking for opinions is fun. Who cares what the trolls say? And I think the groom and groomsmen all need to wear the same color.
I'll delurk to tell you that I think it's sick and wrong that you got hate mail. If someone has something to say about a public blog, they should say it right here in the open. And as one of your lurkers, I've never seen anything you've posted about the wedding as anything but fun with your daughter. If there were any tension with her about this, you clearly wouldn't be posting it.
And your school story - so pathetic and funny all at the same time. What a day.
I am so sorry about the e-mails! The, chickens *cluck* *cluck*.
You are amazing in times of crisis. I bow down to your amazing presence of mind and overall calm and control. I would have probably just started shrieking, "Are you gonna throw up? Are you gonna throw up!?!" and then once she did I would continue shrieking, "She threw up, she threw up!!!!"
I LOVE Linsey's term of MOBzilla. I hadn't heard that one yet! I am sure you aren't a MOBzilla, though!
I love hearing your stories from school! Sounds like you are a gal to have around in a crisis! I can't believe someone would send you mean eMails! It is no one's business about the wedding plans between you and Lauren! I am so sorry! I am leaving for Utah tomorrow too!
I agree the groom should wear black. The brown could look nice! Maybe black tuxedos with brown vests and ties?
Mean people are mean.
Loved the jack mormon post though!
Can't wait!! I think you should repost the tux post. I didn't see it!!
Man, this school post rocked my world! Poor girl- kids are mean. I'd have to see a picture of the brown/black combination to really properly weigh in.
Can't take credit for MOBzilla - that is all Jeni!
I'm just dittoing everyone, so this is a boring contest.
I think you are the greatest thing ever, so post what you want to.
How many groomsmen?
Wha wha what? People really emailed you? Hey, publish their addresses so we can send them a little love note. Bloggers are great vigilantes.
I'm so glad you can finally tell a school story. You won't get busted, right?
Drunk girls. How fun!!!!
I'm so sorry about the e-mails. Sad! Once I posted a blog about NOT being a nagging wife and someone left a comment that said, "who do you think you are kidding? You are the naggiest wife I've ever met." I was crushed. Even though I know it isn't true!!!!!
We love your wedding posts. Keep it up.
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